


The Secrets We Keep

by MajorWolfe



Category: Bramwell (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-01-27 23:59:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12593484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorWolfe/pseuds/MajorWolfe
Summary: Eleanor Bramwell never knew how good she was at keeping secrets, until she had no choice.  What will happen when she has no choice but to reveal what she's kept to herself for so long?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go, the first part of the Bramwell fic I mentioned in the update for Home, there'll either be one or two more parts depending on how I split it up. I'd love to hear what you think :)

Eleanor hissed in pain, slender fingers gripping tightly at the polished wood of her desk.  “No no no” she mumbled, “not now, please not now.”  She bit her lip, trying not to cry out, she didn’t want anyone knowing what was going on.  She sat heavily in her chair, whilst this was happening a little sooner than she’d planned, in a way it couldn’t be better.  The night nurse hadn’t come in, staying home to nurse a sick relative, she and Dr Marsham had been taking it in turns to spend the night at the hospital, tonight was her turn and she supposed, in a way, that made everything slightly easier for her.

She pushed herself to her feet, taking a steady breath to compose herself before gathering all the things she’d need, saying a quick prayer, hoping this would be fast, she needed it to be over before morning, she couldn’t risk anyone finding out the secret she’d managed to keep hidden for so long.

Her prayers were answered when, just three short hours later, a little before 4am, she wrapped the quietly whimpering baby in a sheet, tying off the umbilical cord before cutting it with the scissors she’d sterilised earlier that night.  She couldn’t make it look too ‘professional’, she didn’t want anyone tracing this back to her, but at the same time she wanted to do all she could to give the child the best start in life, including doing her very best to avoid giving the newborn an infection.

She sat on the floor, her back against the heavy wood of her desk as she peeled back the sheet, a boy, a son, an heir to the Bramwell name. At least he could be, he would be was she able to raise him herself but she couldn’t do that, the shame this would bring to her father, to the Thrift would be overwhelming.  She’d thought through all her options time and time again and this seemed the only potential solution to her problem.

Against her better judgement, she allowed the baby to nurse at her own breast when he began to whimper, a silent tear rolling down her cheek as she realised this was the first and last time that she’d ever nurse her son.  She waited for him to finish feeding before rocking him to sleep and kissing his forehead.  Once he was sleeping she worked quickly, dressing the baby in the simple clothes she’d bought, and hidden, for this precise moment, swaddling him in the warm blankets and settling him in the basket that had been hidden at the Thrift in preparation for the baby’s arrival.

Her hands shook as she tended to her own needs, being sure to wash her face and tidy up her hair, she’d clean the floor once she’d dealt with the baby.  Checking the coast was clear, she swiftly made her way through the infirmary to the small sluice area that doubled at a kitchen where she put the basket on the side beneath the small window, reaching up to push it open.  She tied a length of rope to the handles of the basket, positioning both the basket and the rope to make it look like it had been lowered through the open window.  “I’m sorry” she whispered to the sleeping infant, unable to hold back her tears as she walked from the room.

“Oh my Good Lord.  Miss Bramwell, Doctor Marsham” a loud crash and Nurse Carr’s screams woke Eleanor from the light sleep she’d fallen into and she felt her stomach twist, knowing instantly what had caused the nurse’s shocked cries.

“Nurse Carr” Eleanor tried to appear ‘normal’ as she approached the nurse and her fellow doctor, “whatever is all this fuss about, we have sick patients who need to rest.”

“I found a baby Miss” she gestured to the infant who was cradled in Dr Marsham’s arms, “I think someone dropped him in through the window.”

“Through the…”

“Lowered in in a bassinet” Dr Marsham told her, “poor mite looks to be a little premature but he’s clean, or at least he was when he was left here, and he was wrapped up warmly, someone took great care to ensure he’d be safe here.”

“Yes well…”

Dr Marsham turned to look at Eleanor, “Are you alright?” he asked as he saw her leaning against the wall, her face pale.

“I erm, I do feel a little ill” she confessed, regretting it instantly as he passed the baby back to the nurse, looking in Eleanor’s eyes and laying the back of his hand against her forehead.

“You don’t have a fever, do you want me to examine you?”

“No” Eleanor answered, a little too quickly, “no, I, I’ll be fine. Just a little tired, you know what it’s like spending the night here.”

“In that case, go home, get some rest, Nurse Carr and I can cope here.”

“I couldn’t possibly leave you in the lurch, what if…”

“Go, before you end up making yourself really ill. Would you like me to send for your father.”

“No, no, but if you could send for the carriage, I would be most grateful, I’m sure I’ll feel much better once I’ve rested for a while” Eleanor gave in quickly, not wanting to risk her father being alerted to her current condition.

“Of course” Dr Marsham nodded, “I’ll do it immediately.”

Eleanor woke several hours later to her father sat by her bedside, he’d been busy with a patient when she’d arrived back home so she hadn’t seen him.  She’d asked Kate to tell him she’d come home to rest before heading upstairs, turning down the offer of tea and a bath, choosing instead to change straight into her nightclothes and curl up in her bed where she’d cried herself to sleep.

“How are you feeling?” Robert asked his daughter as he saw her wake.

“Father I…”

“Kate said you turned down tea, I was worried about you” he smiled softly.

Eleanor chuckled sleepily, “I just wanted to rest” she told him, “I didn’t get much sleep at the infirmary last night.”

“If you’re sure, you are looking a little pale Eleanor, are you sure you’re not doing too much?”

“I’m fine Daddy, please don’t fuss.”

“You’re my baby girl Eleanor, who can I make a fuss over if not you?” At the mention of the word ‘baby’ Eleanor felt her eyes fill with tears, “Eleanor” Robert took hold of his daughter's hand, “whatever’s the matter.”

“I’m sorry Father” Eleanor wiped at her eyes, “please don’t worry yourself over me.”

“It’s a parent’s duty to worry over their children, you’ll understand yourself one day.”  That was too much for Eleanor and she buried her head in her pillow as she began to sob, “Eleanor, please”  Robert thought about his words, frowning slightly as he spoke again, “Eleanor, forgive me for asking, but are you...are you in the family way?”  

“No” Eleanor whispered as she shook her head against the crisp fabric, “no I’m not, not anymore.”

Robert’s concern for his daughter grew, “not anymore? What do you mean Eleanor, have you miscarried?”

“I had a child, a son, in the early hours of this morning, I’m sorry father.” Eleanor whispered, unable to look her father in the eye.

Robert sat back in his chair, unable to believe what she’d just told him, “You have a child...how?”

“You’re a physician, I’m sure I don’t need to…”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.  Where is the child?”

“At the Thrift, I, I…” Eleanor closed her eyes, “I made him look abandoned, I know what shame me being an unwed mother would bring to the family and the infirmary.”

“Where is the father? He needs to know, he needs to be responsible for…”

“No” Eleanor interrupted, “he can’t know, he mustn’t.”

“Eleanor…”

“I lied to you Father” she whispered, “several months ago, when Stebbings… I said that I managed to fight him off but…”

“He…”

“Please Father, please don’t say it.”

“Oh Eleanor” he sighed, “you should have told me.”

“I couldn’t, I’d rather everyone thought I was a common whore than know that I was…”

“Would you like me to fetch the child?”

Eleanor’s eyes finally flicked up to meet her Father’s, “pardon?”

“The child, if you wish to raise him…”

“I can’t Father, people will ask questions, the family name will...”

“To hell with what other people will think.  That child is my grandson, you are my daughter Eleanor, if you wish to have him here then I shall go and collect him straight away.  We can send a telegram to Nanny Pat, hire a wet nurse, do whatever we need to do, the very idea of your child growing up in a workhouse, it doesn’t bear thinking about Eleanor.”

“Father I…”

“You are my daughter Eleanor, I will do whatever it takes to see you happy, now, answer me just one question, would you like me to fetch the infant from the infirmary?”  Eleanor closed her eyes and gave a single nod, “very well” Robert stood up, “I’ll go now, I’ll fetch you a pen and paper before I leave, you can make a list of everything we’ll need to send out for while I’m gone.”

“Thank you Father.”

Robert kissed Eleanor’s head, “you have nothing to thank me for my child.  Try to rest, I’ll leave the pen and paper by your bed.”

“Father.”

“Yes Eleanor.”

“Please, I know eventually everyone will know, but for now…”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

“At the infirmary, you’ll have to...you can tell Dr Marsham but please, not Nurse Carr. Not yet”

“Of course” Robert nodded, “now close your eyes, get some rest.”

“Doctor Bramwell, to what do we owe this pleasure?” Joe asked when he saw the older man enter the infirmary, “is Eleanor okay?”.

“Eleanor is fine, I’m here about the baby you found earlier.”

“Eleanor told you about him did she?”

“Yes, how is he?”

“He’s doing well, he seems to be a little premature but he’s a good weight and we’ve a wet nurse lined up for him, we’re going to keep him in for observation for a few days before sending him to the orphanage.”

“Where is he?”

“In the storeroom, we thought it would be quieter, and better for him to be away from all the sick patients.”  He followed the Doctor through to the storeroom, watching the older man lean over the bassinet and stroke the sleeping infant’s cheek, “Doctor Bramwell” he frowned when Robert picked up the basket, “whatever are you doing?”

“I trust that this will stay between the two of us?”

“Yes if you wish.”

“I am taking my grandson home to his mother.”

Dr Marsham’s mouth dropped open in shock, “your...he’s Eleanor’s?”

“Yes, she gave me permission to inform you, but I would appreciate it if you would respect the fact that she wishes to keep the news secret for a while.”

“Of course, of course, I had no idea.”

“Neither did I” Dr Bramwell said as he gazed down at the infant, “but I’m sure Eleanor has her reasons.”

“Of course” Dr Marsham nodded, “well, I better let you get the bairn home, please give Eleanor my best wishes and if there’s anything she needs…”

“Thank you” Dr Bramwell nodded, “if you like I can let you know when Eleanor’s ready to receive visitors?”

“Yes, I’d like that, thank you.”

“Obviously she won’t be coming in to work for a while, if there’s anything you think I can assist with, please don’t hesitate to send for me.”

“Thank you Doctor Bramwell.”

“It’s my pleasure.  Now” he rocked the basket gently as the baby began to cry, “I think I’d better get this little one home to his mother.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last part of this, I doubt there'll be any more of this unless I manage to find the time to binge watch Bramwell again to get myself in the right mindset to pick it up again. I hope you've enjoyed it :)

Eleanor had fallen into a deep sleep by the time Robert returned home, exhausted from both her labour and from the night sent at the infirmary, the knowledge that she would soon be reunited with her child allowing her to relax, to finally get the rest she needed.

Robert took up his original position by Eleanor’s bed when he returned home, the baby sleeping in the basket he placed by his feet.  He sat watching his daughter and grandson sleep until the infant stirred, “Eleanor” he whispered, wanting to rouse her gently, “Ellie, there’s someone here who wants you.”

“Father?” Eleanor mumbled sleepily, clumsily rubbing at her eyes, reminding him of the many hours he’d watched her sleep during her own childhood, “father I…”

“I’ve sent word to Nanny, asked her if she’s available to tend to the infant, but for now, I thought he might like his mother’s company.”

“Oh Father...”

“I have to say” Robert smiled as he carefully tucked the infant into bed beside Eleanor, “he is a most handsome little thing.”

“Yes” Eleanor stroked his cheek, “I dare say he is, however you and I are most probably very biased.”

“I think you’re probably right” he smiled before telling Eleanor, “Dr Marsham had arranged for a wet nurse to visit the infirmary, I can send word for her to visit here instead.”

“No, I, I think I’d like to nurse him myself Father, should I be able.”

“As you wish” he stood from his chair, “I’ll send Kate up in a while to see if either of you need anything.”

“Thank you Father...for everything.”

Dr Bramwell paused in the doorway and smiled at mother and child, “you’re welcome Eleanor.”

Eleanor had fed the baby by the time Kate knocked on the bedroom door, she had her son cradled in her arms and was singing softly to him as she called for the housemaid to enter the room, “Doctor Bramwell asked me to see if there was anything you needed Miss.”

“Some tea would be nice” Eleanor smiled, “and maybe something light to eat?”

“Of course Miss,  I’ll get onto it straight away” she said but she didn’t move, her eyes fixed on the baby.

“Would you like to hold him Kate?”

Kate looked shocked, “Oh Miss I couldn’t, I mean, I aint never held a baby before.”  Eleanor smiled and carefully shifted over in the bed, gesturing for Kate to sit in the space she made, “oh no Miss, I could never... not on your bed.”

“Please Kate, I’ve invited you to join me.”

“What if Doctor Bramwell was to come in? He’d think I was awful rude.”

“If my Father was to come in I would tell him that I invited you to join me, now please Kate.”

Kate glanced down the hall before nodding, “okay, but just for a minute.”  The young girl slowly crossed the threshold into the room before cautiously sitting on the very edge of the bed.  “Oh Miss, ain’t he gorgeous?”

“I think so yes” Eleanor smiled as she placed her son in Kate’s arms, “be sure to support his head, the muscles in his neck won’t be strong enough to hold the weight of his skull for quite some time.”

“No Miss, I mean I’d never hurt him.”

“I know you wouldn’t Kate, don’t fret.”

“He’s ever so small aint he Miss?”

“Yes, he was a little premature, I’m almost certain I should have had another four or five weeks to go.”

“You knew?” Kate seemed shocked for a moment before composing herself, “sorry Miss, I mean, I just thought it was one of them, well you hear about ‘em don’t you, where the woman don’t know she’s expecting til she ‘as it.”

“No, no.  I was well aware” Eleanor said quietly, “I, I suppose I just didn’t want to admit to it.”

“I’m sorry Miss, I shouldn’t pry, if you take the baby I’ll go and get your tea, and ask cook to make you something to eat.”

Eleanor took the baby back, “thank you Kate” she smiled softly, settling herself back in the pillows, her son sleeping peacefully in her arms.  That was how she spent the majority of her day, catching up on her sleep with her baby by her side, waking occasionally to nurse or change the infant, barely letting go of the child.  Dr Bramwell had decided early on to give Eleanor some space to come to terms with the new situation, but he frequently sent Kate upstairs to check that neither his daughter or grandson needed anything, and, if she was asked, Eleanor would be only too happy to admit that she appreciated the time alone with her son.  It was one of those things that she never completely understood, why the woman of the upper classes handed their children off to nannies so soon, why, in some cases the mothers spent barely any time with their children.  Nanny or no Nanny, Eleanor was determined to spend as much time with her son as she could, even if that meant she’d have to cut down at the time she spent at the thrift.

“And father has sent word of your arrival to my old Nanny, I think you’ll like her, she’s firm but always fair, and she’s a fan of long walks in the park too…”  Eleanor was laid on her side later that evening, her body curled around her son when a gentle tap on the door interrupted her, “come” she said quietly as she sat up, checking twice that she hadn’t pulled the covers over the baby’s face.  “Papa” she smiled when her Father pushed open the door, “is anything the matter.”

“No, no, I just came to say goodnight, I didn’t want to disturb you if you were resting.”

“He is, I on the other hand am not.”

Robert smiled and approached the bed, kissing Eleanor’s forehead and gently stroking the baby’s cheek with the back of his index finger, “well, as long as you feel like you’re getting enough rest I won’t lecture you.”

Eleanor nodded, “I think I’m going to settle him in the basket and then read for a little while, I feel as if I’ve spent most of the afternoon sleeping.”

“Yes, well you need your rest, as do I so I’ll bid you goodnight, should you need anything, no matter what the time…”

“I won’t hesitate to call you.  Thank you Father.”

Despite the fact she was woken by the infant several times during the night Eleanor felt well rested when she awoke the next morning, “Eleanor” Doctor Bramwell stood from his seat when his daughter walked into the dining room the next morning, “I wasn’t expecting you, you should be resting, I thought you’d be taking your meals in your room for a while.  Please excuse me for starting without you.”

“No” Eleanor nodded in thanks as her father pulled out a chair for her, “I’m sorry that I’m late, the baby wanted to nurse before I came down.”

“Where is he now? Did the two of you sleep well?”

“We slept perfectly well thank you father, better than I expected actually.  And he’s asleep upstairs in his basket, Kate said she’d watch in on him and let me know if he wakes.”

“Whilst we’re on the subject of the infant...have you thought about a name for him? We can’t possibly expect him to go through life being referred to as ‘the baby.’”

Eleanor chuckled slightly, thanking Kate as she bought in a boiled egg, “I did actually, whilst the baby was nursing during the night.  It’s silly but it didn’t occur to me until then that I’d need to do such thing.”

“And did you think of anything?”

Eleanor nodded, “I think I’d quite like to call him Henry.”

“Henry Bramwell” Robert nodded, “yes, that does have quite the ring to it.”

“Henry Robert Bramwell, if you’d allow it.”

“Eleanor” he gasped, “there’s no need for you to do such a thing.”

“No need father, but a desire, I can only hope that Henry grows up to be half the man that you are.”

Robert smiled, “I would be honoured if you were to name him after me Eleanor, and it is not me, but you that he will shape him, although, for your sake I will pray that he doesn’t inherit your stubbornness.”

Eleanor laughed again, “I’m sure I shall thank you for that one day.”

Robert nodded as he picked up his teacup, “I’m sure you will, now, we have no champagne but I feel a toast is in order, to Henry Robert Bramwell, may he be healthy, successful and most of all, may he live a long, happy, and prosperous life.”

Eleanor smiled, lifting her own teacup in the air, gently tapping the china against her father’s, “to Henry.”

They both resumed their breakfast after their toast, a content silence filling the room before there was a gentle tap at the door just seconds before Kate stepped inside, “Dr Bramwell, Sir” she clarified, “Mr Marsham is here, he’s asking to speak to you.”

“Marsham” Eleanor frowned, “shall I…”

“No need” he held out his hand as he stood up, “if he’s asked for me then I shall go speak to him.”

“But if there’s a problem at The Thrift…”

“Then I shall deal with it, you are taking some time away from the infirmary to rest and tend to your son, do not worry, if there is any problem at The Thrift Marsham and I are more than capable of putting it right.”

“I’m sorry to disturb you sir” Marsham said as Robert closed the door to the dining room behind himself.

“No, no, is there a problem?”

“No, not at all. I hope you don't mind but I found out some things I no longer have need for, for the baby. Miss Bramwell is welcome to use them for as long as she needs, either until the infant no longer needs them or until she’s able to acquire things of her own.”

“That is very kind of you.”

“It was no trouble, as I said, I no longer have need for them” he gestured to the perambulator in the hall by the door, full to the brim with items for the baby, “I have a cradle too if Miss Bramwell would like to use that, I’m afraid I couldn't manage it with everything else though.”

“No, no, thank you, I’m most grateful, and I'm sure Eleanor will be too.”

“How is she?”

“Eleanor? She’s very well, she even came down for breakfast this morning. I’d hate to be one to speak too soon but she seems to have taken to motherhood beautifully.”

“I'm glad to hear that, please give her my best wishes, and ensure her that I will keep the infirmary running to her high standards until she’s ready to return.”

“Of course” Robert nodded, “I have some patients to see this morning but I’m free to come over to The Thrift this afternoon if you feel I could be of some use.”

Marsham nodded, “please, you know we’d never turn down an extra pair of hands, especially ones as experienced as yours, but only if you're sure.”

“Of course, I'll be over as soon as I'm able.”

“Thank you” Marsham nodded, “I should be going, I didn't mean to disturb you from your meal.”

“It’s not a problem, please don't worry yourself” Robert saw Marsham to the door, “thank you for your kind generosity, I'm sure Eleanor will be most grateful.”

“Is everything okay Father?” Eleanor questioned when he returned to the dining room.

“Everything is fine, he simply wanted to drop off some things for Henry, things his children no longer have use for. He asked me to pass on his best wishes and let you know you're to keep them as long as you need.”

“Oh, that’s most kind of him.”

“I've already expressed how grateful we both are, but maybe a note if you have the time?”

“Of course, yes, I think Henry may need feeding soon but as soon as he’s settled again…”

“Of course. Are you feeding him on a schedule?”

Eleanor shook her head, “do you think I ought?”

“That’s a decision only you can make Eleanor, it is entirely your choice, but, if the baby is premature like you say, his stomach will only be small so if you feed to a schedule then please ensure the feedings aren’t too sparse.”

“Of course, I’ve just been nursing him when he seems hungry.”

“And that is entirely fine, if you or I are hungry we wouldn’t deny ourselves food because someone told us it wasn’t mealtime. You have to do what you feel is best for Henry. I trust your judgement, as a physician and as a Mother.”

Eleanor nodded, “thank you father.”

“I’ll leave you to finish your meal and get back to your son. I have a patient due any minute but please call me if there’s anything you need.”

“Thank you. I may take Henry out into the garden for some fresh air.”

Robert smiled and nodded, “make sure the baby’s wrapped up warmly before you take him outside.”

“I will father.”

Robert smiled and kissed Eleanor’s forehead, “enjoy your time with him, he’ll be grown before you know it.”


End file.
